When we read Paul’s letters, especially 1 Corinthians 7, we’re often struck by how bold and countercultural his views were—then and now.

“I wish that all of you were as I am.”

—1 Corinthians 7:7 (ESV)

Paul was referring to his singleness. His celibacy. His total devotion to God, unentangled by romantic or familial obligations. In the context of early Christianity, this wasn’t just a quirky personal preference—it was a revolutionary spiritual strategy.

But what if Paul had said that today?

In a world shaped by independence, technology, hookup culture, healing journeys, therapy, and Netflix… would Paul still argue that singleness is the better way?

Or would he see that the world has changed—and that maybe, just maybe, singleness today is actually more difficult and more powerful than ever before?

Let’s unpack it.

Singleness in Paul’s Time: Context Is Everything

To understand Paul’s words, we have to step into his world for a moment.

In the first-century Greco-Roman world, marriage was the norm—especially for economic, social, and survival reasons. Family units were the foundation of society. There was no such thing as “independent living.” If you weren’t married, you were likely tied to someone else’s household.

Women, in particular, were socially and economically dependent on marriage. Singleness for a woman could mean vulnerability, poverty, or social scorn. And for men, while not as risky, bachelorhood wasn’t necessarily seen as virtuous—it was often considered incomplete.

So when Paul says:

“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.”

—1 Corinthians 7:8

He’s saying something radically countercultural. Not only is singleness acceptable—Paul elevates it as spiritually strategic.

He believed the time was short, the days were evil, and the return of Christ was imminent. The stakes were high, and he didn’t want believers to be distracted by worldly cares. Marriage, while holy and valid, came with earthly anxieties. Singleness, Paul argued, came with spiritual focus.

Paul’s View Wasn’t Anti-Marriage—It Was Urgent

Let’s be clear: Paul wasn’t condemning marriage. In fact, in Ephesians 5, he writes one of the most beautiful theological descriptions of marriage, comparing it to Christ and the Church. He also acknowledges that not everyone is wired the same way:

“Each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.”

—1 Corinthians 7:7

For Paul, this wasn’t about superiority—it was about assignment. Some are gifted for marriage. Others are gifted for singleness. The key is to embrace whichever gift God gives you and live it well.

But what if Paul had Instagram? What if he saw dating apps, modern loneliness, and people “talking stages” for months with no commitment? What if he saw the way marriage is no longer tied to survival, but often tied to emotional healing, personal fulfillment, or social media aesthetics?

Would he still say, “I wish you were all as I am”?

Maybe not. Or maybe he’d say it differently.

Singleness in the Modern Age: A Whole New Landscape

In today’s world, singleness no longer means what it meant in Paul’s time.

What’s Easier Now:

Autonomy is expected. You can live alone, earn your own income, own property, and build a life—without a spouse or family unit. That independence didn’t exist in Paul’s time. The stigma is fading. Being single at 30, 40, 50, or even forever isn’t the social death sentence it once was. Culture now recognizes singleness as a valid life path, not a failed one. You can thrive spiritually as a single person. There are entire ministries, communities, and online spaces built for people who are pursuing God outside of marriage. You can have intimacy without marriage. Friendships, chosen family, spiritual mentors, and even online communities offer the connection people used to rely on marriage for.

What’s Harder Now:

Modern loneliness is real. We are the most connected generation in history, but also the most isolated. Social media can leave us with hundreds of followers and no one to call on a hard day. Emotional labor falls on one person. In marriage, ideally, there’s shared emotional support. Singles often have to self-regulate, self-soothe, and navigate everything solo. The church still centers marriage. Despite Paul’s high view of singleness, many churches still treat married couples as more “stable” or “mature.” Singles often feel like they’re waiting to be fully included until they find a partner. Dating is exhausting. The culture of “situationships,” ghosting, hookup culture, and endless swiping can leave many Christians disillusioned, heartbroken, or spiritually discouraged.

What Would Paul Say to Singles Today?

If Paul were writing today, I don’t think he would change the core of his message—but I do think he’d contextualize it differently.

He might say:

“I still believe undivided devotion to the Lord is a beautiful calling. But you are not lesser because you’re single, and you are not delayed because you haven’t married. You have access to spiritual tools I never dreamed of. Use your singleness—not as a place of waiting, but as a platform for purpose.”

He would validate the emotional difficulty of singleness in the modern world—while also encouraging us to rise to the spiritual opportunity within it. Singleness today might be harder in the day-to-day, but it also comes with greater freedom, access, and global impact than Paul could have imagined.

He might even say: “I had to give up everything to follow Christ—but you? You’re already set up. Use your freedom for something holy.”

The Truth: Singleness Isn’t a Curse. It’s a Calling.

Whether temporary or lifelong, forced or chosen, joyful or painful—singleness is not a holding cell until marriage happens.

It’s a valid, rich, spiritual state. And for many, it’s an intentional lifestyle that bears fruit for the Kingdom.

Singleness doesn’t make you more holy.

Marriage doesn’t make you more whole.

Only God does.

So whether you’re single and thriving, single and struggling, single and healing, or single and confused—know this:

You’re not behind. You’re not broken.

You’re not second-tier in the Kingdom.

You are fully loved, fully seen, and fully called—right now.

Final Word from a Modern Mystic

If Paul could see us now, he might still say, “It’s better to be single”—but not because of hardship or persecution. He might say it because you now have the power to live your spiritual life boldly, independently, and intentionally.

So the question isn’t: “Should I stay single?”

The question is: What can I do with the freedom I’ve been given?

Because whether you’re single or married, it’s not about your relationship status.

It’s about your devotion. Your purpose.

And your radical yes to the Divine.

Follow Shaunna K | The Christian Mystic for more reflections on faith, spirituality, the feminine, and walking in power in every season of life.